The first of two interviews I did last year, this one comes from www.thekillersfansite.net

Enjoy! Smile

Looking on the Brightside:The Ender is Nigh!

The Killers often talk about bands that have had an influence on them both musically and personally: U2, The Smiths, and David Bowie to name a few. With their newfound success, it is inevitable that they would now be the ones to affect and influence others. That said, having this site has allowed me to meet many fans from all over the world whom The Killers have ouched in some way. One fan I met recently is a solo artist who goes by the name Ender. I spoke to him about his music, being a solo artist, his future, and, of course, The Killers.

Q.) Do you prefer to be a solo artist as opposed to being in a band? If so why?

A.) I've run into a bit of a paradox on that one. Quite honestly, I've always wanted to be in a band. I was a drummer for one back in my teens, a singer for another most recently. Being a solo artist is something that just came out of necessity. Either I can't get a band going or the ones I get going don't work out. That, admittedly, is because of the small-mindedness, in those terms, of where I live. There's very little experimentation up here. You're either doing exactly as someone else famous has, or you're not welcome. It's very strange. There's no room to be you and run with it. So when I try to break molds, that inevitably breaks up bands, because I have certain aesthetics I must adhere to. At this point, though I would love to have a band, and would love to write music AS A BAND like U2 and others have done, I don't think it's possible, mainly because I've written a plethora of tunes, have recorded them on my own, have developed a sound, and want to see those tunes through. So that's the paradox. Even though I want a band more than anything, I don't know as it would work at this juncture, not with all I've done and want to do over the next decade or so.

Q.) Tell me about the recording process. Do you do it youself at home or in a studio?

A.) I do it all myself actually. And I don't say that to make it sound glamourous or, whatever... In all honesty, half the time (if not more than that) I have no idea what I'm doing. The irony of the whole process is that I'm a drummer first and foremost, and yet none of the drums on my songs are real. Not on any of them. They're either beat sequencers (like on the NEON APOCALYPSE album) or midi orchestrated drum patterns that I actually wrote out beat for beat with Cubase (Like on Vampire). That, again, is out of necessity. I don't have a drum kit, nor do I have the knowledge to properly mic it. So the drums are actually the longest process, because to convert them from midi I have to play them on one computer, run them through the sequencer, and record them track by track (if i want to be able to effect them separately - I did it all as one track on the SCARLET DAWN recordings and it shows), into .wav files in Cool Edit Pro. After that, everything else that I record, unless it's strings or sequencer parts, is through my Line 6 POD XT - vocals, bass, guitar, everything.

It's a very very long process. My first CD took two years to make and that
was only ten songs. And it's not mixed well, nor is SCARLET DAWN, which took about a year because I knew better what I was doing and how to organize it. LEMONYMOUS was mixed better, in particular songs like "Manipulation Under Stress" and "Alive" but it still lacked a lot. Since then I've been either going back and re recording old songs, like "Lemon Tea" and "Eleven-Three", or recording all new ones like "Vampire" or ones you haven't heard yet like "My My" and "Deadweight Destiny". I'm getting a lot better at organizing and mixing things, and while it still isn't professional, you can tell a big difference between "Vampire" and something older like "Probably" or something like that. The most annoying thing for me is having all the work done (which is not without its software/hardware glitches) and then going in to sing and just not being able to. I'm not the greatest singer in the world and I know that. I'm always working to better myself, I think I'm a hell of a songwriter and a hell of an entertainer, so... that's the foundation I build on. My vocals come along with a TON of work. I used to sing along with Bono, now I'm singing along with Brandon Flowers. It's a trip.

Q.) The writing process... Where do you start? Your songs seem to have a lot of emotion to them. How do you write the songs? Are they from personal experiences?

A.) There is no one right answer for this one. Some songs, like "Consequences", start off from some sort of Edge-type riff. And then I build a backbone around it. Others, like "Vampire", start off with the backbone main riff, and then I add a melodic, Edge-type riff to the background to fill it out. Some start with just fooling around on guitar or keyboards, or just messing around with beats in my head. I think "Like a Dream" started out with just me tapping out this 7/8-8/8 beat on my knees one day and the piano melody just fit when I played with it. Sometimes lyrics come first and songs fit into them. Sometimes I have the music first and the lyrics after, and sometimes the lyrics are fast and sometimes they're incredibly hard to come by. My best lyrics are the ones that just happen. "Weak", "Consequences", they're both examples of that. I think "Eleven-Three" as well. That particular song is special because it was written... well this girl I was crazy about back in highschool lost her father on November 3, 1996. He was the pastor in one of the nearby towns. And I remember a year later, on November 2, 1997, I was thinking about how she was going to feel about everything the next day, and I had this song I'd been playing with and the idea was something about "My Hero" at the end of each chorus. I was just thinking about her and how she'd feel and the song came out. So that's why there's even the references to God, and Biblical stuff. It's more about her than it is about me. But I also tried to keep it open, so that it could apply to many people. The idea of God puts a lot of people off. They don't want to listen to that religious stuff. I don't most of the time myself, even. I'm spiritual though, and everything in that song that I said, I believe. I couldn't sing about something I didn't believe anyway. "Consequences" was a complicated beast that just happened out of nowhere. It was after I'd broken up with my then-fiance, and realized the next morning I had to get to know this guy that was sleeping in my bed and watching me in my mirror. And it was me. It was very startling but it was sort of... that whole album was about that period of my life. That whole period of disenchantment with romance and life in general. Trying to find some sort of sense in it. Strangely enough I've just come out of another long relationship, again an engagement, and I'm finding myself listening to those songs for advice. Which, in a sense means that they're doing what they're intended to do. I'm going through a rough period right now and I'm trying to find out how I did it before. Those songs are the main link to that sort of... sense of mind. So... while I don't have all the answers I hope people aren't shy to listen to things like that most of the time. Other songs, like "Vampire" or "Emerald" (which was never finished) are more concept songs. In the former I'm talking about people who take advantage of or use others for their own personal gain through this metaphor of a Vampire who befriends you only to take your blood. In the end though, if the Vampire is to keep doing what he's doing, he inevitably runs out of people to feed off of so... it's things like that. I tend to ask big questions when I can. When I'm not laying down advice of some sort. I once referred to NEON APOCALYPSE as "an open letter to Dear Abby covered in glittery lights and neon signs" - something like that.

Q.) What are your plans for the future? Is your main goal to get signed to a major label? Do you plan on staying solo or forming a band?

A.) My main goal always has been and always will be to get a record deal. Be it independent or not. I'm a bit disenchanted by the current state of the record industry, but I'm the type that wants to go in there and prove it can be different. People are only listening to these pop singers and emo bands because they have no other choice really. That's why bands like The Killers and the Smashing Pumpkins, and U2 for their longevity and continued committment to good music, are essential. Without them people like me would have no chance. Maybe I still don't. Yeah, I want to be a huge star but it's for more than just being able to say I'm famous and rich. It's really... I can admit to some of that cos I'm human, but it's mostly that the more famous I am, the more people I'm reaching and potentially helping. I'd be happy enough touring the world on an indie label of sorts and making enough money to live comfortably and make sure my kids can get through college. 25 may be young, but time is definitely running out in today's world. I have to make a play soon here. I'm currently trying to move out to Boston now but I'm having no luck at this point.

Q.) "Vampire" is the new single, correct? Tell me about the song. What is the status as far as radio airplay goes?

A.) I talked about the song a bit earlier. It's a rocker. I'm really excited about it and would love the chance to play the tune live. I think it's got a ton of potential and is one of my stronger recordings, both aesthetically and just in terms of the song itself, recording aspects aside. It's part U2, part Coldplay, part Tea Party, part Smashing Pumpkins, part Killers... it's got a lot in there. And I think it says a lot, as I mentioned earlier with what it's about. It's masked in a lot of metaphor but there's certainly a point. As far as radio goes, it won't be on the waves sooner than October probably, which is unfortunate, but I've already got press kits ready to roll, I've got radio stations lined up and ready, though most are in the northeast, so... it's just a matter of time and some hope. It's a strong song, and I'm including the 2001 recordings of "Julia" and "Weak" (the latter of which has been on the radio) as well as B-Sides. I'd like to release "Eleven-Three" next if at all possible. If I had a band, see, it would tie all this together. What I need now is a representative or management. Someone who knows who to call and what to say. Right now it's just winging it. And my music... I'll be honest... I know my music is good and it's going to take just the right person to hear it. That may sound ballsy or self-centered, I dunno. I guess you can just chalk it up to being confident and having faith.

Q)As a fan of The Killers, how have they had an impact on you musically and/or personally? You have said "it would be cool for Killers fans to see what the band has had a hand in influencing". In what way have they influenced you in this way?

A) Well it actually starts, Killers-wise, in summer 2004. One of my best friends had heard "Somebody Told Me" and showed me the video. I thought it was really fresh, a welcome respite from the emo bands and the manufactured pop that seemed to be dominating (and in many ways still is dominating), the radio waves. I'll be honest, the song was played so much that I got sick of it by fall. Around February of this year, my then-fiance and I took a trip to Middletown, NY to see her Aunts, and while there, she bought Hot Fuss. Now, I hadn't heard anything else on the album at this point, but from a few U2 friends and fansites, there had already been a lot said about where their sound was coming from, what their influences were, so even though I was a little sick of the 2004 single, I was excited to get a chance to hear what they were up to. I remember listening to the album on the trip back up here, and I wasn't floored, but I was impressed. I loved their sound and I loved how it was mixed. I loved little breaks in songs like "All these things that I have done." Nevertheless, I didn't really get into the album for a while. In March, my then-fiance broke up with me and stayed with her Aunt (in the same town) for a while. During that whole month we were broken up, we saw each other every other day, and were still very close. At the time, "Mr. Brightside" had just come out and she had kept saying how she felt that song was speaking to her on some level. So, though I liked the song, I started to deteste it as it more or less was just a reminder of what I didn't have. We got back together in April, and I fell back in love with "Mr. Brightside", and was listening to the album more often. I still wasn't crazy-crazy about it yet but it was growing on me. I didn't really really start listening religiously until July of this year, after she broke up with me again, and this time, moved out for good. It's been a very difficult experience because we never talk, we never see each other... she doesn't want anything to do with me (which I feel is something undeserved, but regardless...), I haven't been able to sing so well cos my confidence is a bit on the downside, but it's coming up, it's been hard to write... so... in a way, listening to the Killers for the last two months has been this way of me still keeping some sort of communication. I'm listening to something she got me into. And I'm sure she's listening to U2, which is something I got her into. Today, now that I have the limited edition of Hot Fuss, I listen to the album nearly every day, nearly the whole way through. "Under the Gun" is a song that really speaks to me, and I'm still having a hard time listening to "Mr. Brightside" even though I genuinely love the song. It's sort of like I have this new life now, this new world. And the Killers seem to be the soundtrack of it. When I was 15, U2 changed everything for me. Now that I'm 25, I think the Killers are doing the same thing. I admit they probably will never be as big to me as U2 is, but that's okay. I tell everyone about the Killers, I talk about them all the time. Their work and their influence hasn't had time yet to really seep into the work I'm doing, but it's only a matter of time. You can easily hear U2 and the Smashing Pumpkins in my music, so the Killers becoming audible in there is an inevitability. Singing with Brandon Flowers has been great because it adds another dimension to my vocals, which have been flat as of late with only the Bono/Billy Corgan thing (weird mix I know) to tone it out. So... I don't know, I don't like to immortalize rock stars, but the Killers have been my Godsend the last couple of months. Without their work this would be tougher. There's definitely more to it than that, though. They're way more than an OK band. I mean, I've recorded their performance at Live 8, MTV awards, I get on the aol and music on demand channels just so i can find their videos and record them. I don't listen to them to hold onto my ex, in that respect, it's more they help me let go. Move on. their music really speaks to me and it's really helping. Songs like "Change Your Mind" - "If the answer is no, can i change your mind?" which is sorta... a lot of what my head is going through with how that break up has gone. Or "Under the Gun" - "His Angel's kiss was a joke, and she is not coming back", which is word for word going on in my head, cos I considered her my angel. So it's things like that that are speaking to me and helping me get through a difficult period and helping me find new ways to cope, and actually, to write, so they're influencing me more than I've perhaps led on. I really love "Glamourous Indie Rock & Roll" because it feels so... you know, innocent. You're flipping through a thrift store magazine with your girl, and it's only the two of you in the world doing this. There's something innocent and pure about that lyric to me. And I simply love songs like "All these things that I have done"... perhaps it's not the point of the song, but to me it's just saying, okay, there we were, here we are, or here I am, time to get up and perservere. And "Everything Will be Alright" just rotates in my head constantly. I mean, that's something I was always saying to myself anyway, but now when I say it, it's less me in my head and more Brandon in there. "Smile Like You Mean it" is another song that really speaks to me because of the lyric "And someone will drive her around, down the same streets that I did." It's just another one of those things that makes me think and feel about the mental and emotional state I'm in, and is actually theraputic regardless of how much it also sort of hurts. I get this whole nightlife vibe from them, which is great. I'm all about the nightlife, which is why I'm trying to get out of here and get to the city. To me their music is sonically more amazing than it is musically, which is not to say that the music in and of itself is not great! What I mean to say is that the way it's mixed and mastered, with Brandon coming in like this sort of bull horn, you can see them driving down this Vegas road, grasping for the attention of people around them, and telling them hey, here's some instances of life. I can really relate to that because in a lot of ways that's what I'm trying to do. Their sound harkens back to the 80's, which I love to begin with, but it's done in such a mature way. You know, they're not just transposing a sound into the future, they're also changing the aesthetics of it. Which is great! The guitars pick up an Edge flavor, but at the same time, while minimalist, they have their own sound, especially when coupled with those keyboards. They color things so well in this respect. And finally, not only does Brandon have a fascinating timbre, but the way in which his lyrical melodies progress is really nothing short of wonderful... the way he bounces up one note on a scale down to another, or vice versa... there's this sort of leap that it feels his voice is doing, that I can't really explain. It's as if he's doing something other singers rarely do - skip notes in progressions. He's not really doing that anymore than any other singer does, but he makes it SOUND that way comparatively, whether or not it's intentional.

Q.) What do you hope people will take away from your music?

A.) There's so much. I really don't even know where to start with that one. I suppose there are many levels. It goes beyond the basic, "oh, good singer/good guitarist/good songwriter" critique which I think are basically a given that every artist wants. I think maybe sometimes I'm asking too much, but... I'm not looking for people to adore me, or write my name on signs (although 20,000 people screaming my name every night would be cool, I can admit to the megalomaniac inside me a bit), but I am looking for people to sort of say perhaps two different things. One, "hey, I can totally understand where he's coming from with his references, but he's able to take
that and make it his own," because while I feel references and influences are an important part of any artist's work and life, and should be brought to light as a sort of show of respect, I still want to be my own person. I want my work to be my work and not someone else's. I may reference U2 a lot, or the Killers most recently, but I don't want people to hear just that. Two, I want people most of all to take away... I dunno... that either they learned something about themselves, about their lives, or they were just able to smile, or release something. Whether they cry, or come to grips with a period of their life that they're in currently or had in the past... it's hard to explain. I try to ask questions or pose thoughts or ideas that you rarely hear, on one side. On the other, it's blatant - you know, like "Eleven-Three". That song was specifically made for people to be able to release the pain of having lost a loved one, especially when they didn't get to say goodbye, and know that in the end, both themselves and that loved one will be okay, regardless of your beliefs. That's a hard one to pin down. As much as I want to be a huge rock star, admittedly, in the end I just want to help people. And do it well. The only way I know how.